I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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