if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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