Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize