Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Never underestimate the power of titties
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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