Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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