those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
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Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
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Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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