Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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