He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
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He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Is Oprah even human
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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