Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
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If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
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It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize