There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
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I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
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He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize