hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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