it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
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Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
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I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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