And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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