i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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