It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
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I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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