Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
