Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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