She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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