why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize