One girl and one boy is just not enough.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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