My hand turned me down
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize