I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Moan for me like Helen Keller
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize