the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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