he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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