Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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