Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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