I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize