actually, I'm a sock model
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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