that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
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