you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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