So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
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Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
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So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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