We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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