Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize