Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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