I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize