I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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