I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize