my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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