i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize