I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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