Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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