Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize