Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize