If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
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I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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