whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
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I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
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But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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