Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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