i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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