Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize