I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
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Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
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The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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