Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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