just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize