shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize